The Sudden Gush of Temper

We all have stupid/weird reactions to certain situations. In my case, I don’t like any disruptions when engaged in a mind boggling activity called “watching my favorite movie/show”. My initial reaction when someone irritates me during those times is being bitchy (I’ll give you 10% of my attention but will eventually say or do things that will certainly piss you off) or worse… I’ll definitely slap you to stop disturbing me. There are few people who have experience my uncontrollable violence and … I’m sorry.

My rationalization for this behavior is that I’ve spent my entire 16 years alone. Well, not actually alone-in-a-deserted-island kinda way but I prefer the company of dust mites in my room than going out with friends. See, while most teenagers beg their parents for approval to go partying, it was my mom who begs my barkada (those who unfortunately run into her on streets) to visit me at our house and ask me to go out ANYWHERE. Maybe my mom thinks I’m a leper who is incapable of calling my friends using our landline, but if anyone bites into my mom’s pleading, rest assured I will offer them free merienda and just watch fight club or some gruesome movie for me to avoid the heat of the sun.

That is why living with people, aside from my immediate family who seems to have the longest patience for a natural born psychopath like me, became a great ordeal for me. I have been used to a solitary life where I can sleep whenever I want and snark anytime at my brothers to turn down the volume of the television when I want some silence. It was hard to be sane when your REM is interrupted by fighting cats in your neighbor’s roof only to realize it was the vocal harmonization of your roommates singing whole 80’s songbook at 12 am ; also the early review sessions when someone will turn on the light while you’re still dreaming of brad pitt; those time when you are forced to watch telenovelas instead of ghost fighter; and people who will think they did you a favor for cleaning your mess while you spend five hours looking for your atm card. The thing is, I can’t be condescending, for I have also brought them miseries for having me as a boardmate.

Being with different kinds of people, I have noticed that we have different ways of handling our temper. Some handle that sudden rage with shouting and/or nagging (I am not a fan of anything that constitutes wasting my energy for the purpose of releasing my anger in a talking manner but I give kudos to these guys for most of them are forgiving once they’ve consumed 1000 KJ from talking). Some treat inanimate object as their target for the murder they wanted to commit, like stuff toys shattering into pieces. Some, those few some, feels that the negative energy will somehow disperse if they don’t say a fucking word and I’ve learned not to fuck with these people for their wrath is worse than you can imagine, think 300 or Braveheart.

They say, you’ll never know someone until you have lived in one roof, I say, even if you happen to know them, somehow they will still get into your nerves. But there will always be a time, when you find it comforting to know there’s someone to come home to when you feel like saying “Magpapainom ako!”.

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