After undergoing a series of interrogations from total strangers. I have decided to ask the question myself. Why the hell am I still single and unattached after two years of breaking up with my boyfriend. You know what? Life is simple because I came up with virtually nothing. And it makes me more curious so I’ve asked my friends about it.
Friend#1 is a womanizer. This is our conversation while waiting for our laundry to be ready:
Me: Is there something wrong with me?
Friend#1: What do you mean?
Me: Am I ugly?
Me: Seriously, like if you’re not my friend and you’ll see inside the mall or somewhere.
Friend#1: Well, you’re not that beautiful to be noticed. But you’re definitely not ugly for us to make fun of. Why ask?
Me: I’m just thinking about my relationships and status. Sure I’m not ugly?
Friend#1: Yes. I’m sure.
Me: What about my traits.
Friend#1: Hmm. Yeah. You’re messy.
Me: Everyone’s messy. Ashlee Simpson is messy.
Friend#1: She’s Ashlee. Besides you’re violent, too.
Me: Me? Violent?
Friend#1: Remember when you slap me just because we’re loud while you’re watching heroes? Yeah. You’re violent.
Okay. Point taken. But let’s ask my other friends.
Friend#2 is responsible individual who is having a serious relationship with one of my friends.
Me: Why am I still single?
Friend#2: Because you are picky.
Me: I am not!
Friend#2: Well, ***’s married. You know, married people..
Me: Let’s not go there.
Friend#2: *** a homosexual. Never into you.
Me: Bisexual and thought I was joking.
Friend#2: *** is a…
Me: an asshole. Kidding.
Friend#2: I seriously thought you guys would hit off.
Me: Me, too. But the thing is, it was never meant to happen. I was the only one hoping.
All he did was remind me of my past unconquered spaces that still bring jolts into my spine. Let’s ask the ladies about my predicament and let’s see about what they have to say about my singleness.
Friend#3 is a married friend.
Friend#3: Don’t look for it. It will come to you. And when you find it, you’ll be happy.
What if destiny intentionally didn’t give me someone to love? Am I to wait for the rest of my life? Instead of comforting me, I was scared by destiny’s cruel joke. Good thing, my old buddy was online.
Friend#4 is in Dubai. He always give me those comforting This-is-the-truth-so-face-it advice.
Me: Why am I still single?
Friend#4: Because you want to.
Me: No. Seriously.
Friend#4: I am being serious.
Me: Okay, hypothetically, I want to be in a relationship. How the hell can I enter into any relationship when no one’s courting me?
Friend#4: Instead of answering your question, I’m gonna tell what you have to do. You have long hair right?
Friend#4: Cut it into something fashionable. Buy new dresses, those ones that are in the latest style. Stop laughing so goddamn loud and tone down your trash talks. Stop being boyish, start acting like a lady.
Friend#4: Do you expect guys to go for a girl like you when you’re more manly than them? You sleep with us without feeling a sense of uneasiness, you drink more than we can take, your trash talks are more cruel than most of the guys, you dress like a guy, you are basically a guy’s brain trapped in a woman’s body. You’re hardheaded to top it all off. Even if you know the answer to your question, you probably won’t do anything about it.
Friend#4: Same reason. You don’t want to.