Today we talk about mothers, my mother in particular.
My mother was married off to some guy who kissed her during her puberty. She didn’t know she was getting married by then. She just woke up one morning, everybody getting fuss about her looks while she was being asked to wear a white miniskirt. She saw her sister after inside the church and then they were both married on the same day. My mother was 13, my aunt 14.
Until now, I cannot fathom why her mother, my grandmother, could do such thing. I told you that I tend to hate everything I can’t rationalize; I hated my grandmother for that.
Aside from the early marriage, my mother stopped studying when she was just in grade 3. My grandmother never forced her to study further. For a mother of six who doesn’t know how to support family, education was something unnecessary. Aside from that, my grandmother started enslaving them to rich families to support their finances, until that is they were married off.
What can you expect from a marriage from a thirteen year old kid? She was malnourished, mistreated and suffering from seizures. She was an old 25 years old when she left her husband. My father then was a successful businessman of 59. They met when she worked for him. Love at first sight? I doubt it, but I have no doubt about their love nowadays.
It was natural for us to have half-siblings. We were treated the same and I can attest to the fact that my father never treated my them as additional baggage. I guess it came easy for me because I was still young, but for my sister, it was an issue. She rebel by cutting classes or going to places without my parent’s consent. My mother told my sister one day that it was her privilege that my father is willing to support her studies and she should be shameful to do such thing. My sister ran off after that, leaving a letter that contains “Wala kang karapatang tawaging ina”. I saw her read it, she was devastated and cried the whole night. We looked for her but after awhile she came back, about to be wed, a wedding we never attended.
We all got our sarcastic behavior from my father who considers everything as a light matter. I learn to hold grudge from my mother who seems to never let go of the past. We are all joker, my mother the sensitive pus was always the butt of our joke. It was hard for her when we joke about studies; she would be silent and then speak only to admit her being uneducated and how lucky we are that we graduated. Sometimes, we she gets mad at us, she would simply cook the same dish for the whole month to let us suffer.
She experienced every hardship in life; a maid, a young wife, a young mother, a separada, a mother who experienced the death of her child twice. It was a hard journey for her and having me as a daughter doesn’t make it anything easier. I hope she gets to understand that I really appreciate the things that she’d done for us and how much I love her.