I have been planning to live alone for a year now. I just don’t have the guts to do it. Now that the suckiness of my pay has been diminished, I can afford to live by myself. This has nothing to do with the equal suckiness of my housemates. Wait they suck, yes, but everybody does. Their suckiness is way below tolerable. They are entertaining and helpful. But I don’t like that, the helpful part that is, because I will never be able to stand by myself.
Aside from that, I love them. They are the reason why I have had second thoughts about leaving our Big Mama’s House. Even if the goddamn pigeon hole can’t hold us when we are all present or we have pervert neighbors or yes, the effin’ dog that has been bothering me, I still wish to stay with them.
No, I’m not regretting it as of this moment. If I were to choose, I want to get all my things and move out right now, but you see there are still tenants on the apartment.
Did I mention that my parents are still on the dark about my decision? Yes, that’s another problem.
I’m scared as shit here. I am scared. I am scared.
I am scared that due to my boredom I’ll be compelled to watch home tv shopping every weekend even if my new apartment has cable tv.
I am scared that I won’t be able to pull washing my dirty clothes every wednesday and friday.
I am scared that my neighbor has a dog.
I am scared that someone will rape me. Okay that’s not scary. Let’s rephrase that. I am scared that someone who looks like Diego will rape me. That is one scary shit.
Somebody please… Hug me?