Arguments Part II

Truth… I hate arguments because I am never good at it. Yes, I have the capability to piss anyone off by my trash talks but no, I cannot defend my right as a human being. I will always concede, say sorry even eat shit, just don’t make me explain myself.

Pride never worries me. Yhep ladies and gentlemen I am one human being who doesn’t take pride in anything I’ve done, I’m not even proud of myself. So I say sorry all the time and it doesn’t matter if I have vindicated my own accuser by having to surrender. If I know I’m right I don’t need justification from others, if I’m wrong it’s the right thing to do.

Whenever I’m hungry, tired and/or sleep deprived, my IQ will skyrocket. As compensation, my rationality plummets. During this dark moment, everything someone says is serious. This is where the argument starts, when you take someone’s joke seriously. Like

Me: Can you pick up my clothes later before meeting me?
(‘_’): Well, can you pick me up first? (joking)
Me: I’ll just pick up my clothes first then pick me up at the laundrymat… (getting pissed off)
(‘_’): No pick up your clothes first then pick me up here at the office. (still kidding unaware of my rage)
Me: If you have something to do then maybe we shouldn’t meet.
(‘_’): What time should I pick you up?
Me: No, just go on with whatever you need to do.
(‘_’): When will you meet me, then? Come on. You can’t be mad…
Me: I’m not mad. I’m just irritated. Tell me if still want to meet me or not so I can plan my weekend ahead of time. No, let’s not meet this weekend and rest without seeing each other.

Somewhere in that conversation I have reacted strangely. I could’ve said that it’s unfair. But instead, I dismiss the idea just to avoid explaining why I find it unfair. In every situation, I always find myself on the wrong side of the road. I guess it’s easier to say I’m sorry than to prove my point.

My point is… I always don’t want to explain my point because whenever I do they will only prove that I’m wrong and will only cause me to feel bad about explaining myself. Even if I’m currently in deep shit, I’d rather eat it all up than to struggle to prove that I don’t belong in this craphole.

I just lost my point. Nevermind.


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