I have been into dreamland for the past few weeks. Wandering in the land of all things wonderful, flowery and thriving with orgasmic scent. The reason is that I am in love. Cheese is all over the floors of my brain attracting maggots that eventually turned into flies and ate my brain.
However, things dragged me back into my real world and woke up the disturbing thoughts that have been in hiatus for a while now. One of which is admitting that: Living alone sucks big hairy balls with nasty fungal infection.
I know, it’s the opposite of what I have been saying, let’s just blame it to the recent increase in my seratonin level because of my lovely and sweet beau. It dropped because we’re both too busy to entertain each other. I woke up in garbage land. As much as I want to organize my life by now, I can’t for I am still actively participating in two ghastly worlds teeming with everything you hate about living. That last sentence I can’t explain any further, perhaps, next week.
LIFE SUCKER # 1: Location
Just to avoid pollutants which have been the regular inhabitant in these lungs of mine, I have decided to live in Cainta. It’s quite a city already but there are barely street lurkers and most people are asleep by the time I get home. This is quite what I have been dreaming about when I was in Pasay. But I guess the state of perfection is where Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy and the Easter bunny perform their orgy whenever they feel like it.
I like traveling. But if I have dozens of things to attend to at home like washing the dishes I have left last night because I was too sleepy to clean it up, or the bathroom floors that needs to be scrubbed because the freaking ants pulverized my door and all the residue went inside or even my goddamn room that looks like a tornado recently pass by, I need to get home early. I can’t… Why? Because I it takes me an hour and a half to get home and by the time I enter my gate with Sam welcoming me with his hearty barks, the only thing I only want to do is sleep. So my shits will file up and by weekend, I’ll spend all day Saturday cleaning up the mess I’ve made. Not to mention my laundry that needs to be done on Sundays. Being messy Homo sapiens, my boyfriend and I will manage to destroy the house even before I clean it all up.
LIFE SUCKER # 2: Location Again
Since my SO lives in Cavite and works in Laguna while I live in Cainta and works in Quezon City, it will be considered as insanity if not moronic, if we try to see each other everyday. So, during weekends while I attend to my chores, he will be tied in my room with “You’ve got me” DVD I made him watch just to make him feel shitty. During times when we don’t feel like making each other suffer, we will meet in megamall where we can both get home conveniently.
An hour however, will be wasted with us arguing if he will come with me to cainta before coming home. Thing is I was the one encouraging him to go home and he keeps insisting that I am mad for doing so. I know we’re both retarded. Life is getting sweeter by the moment. Of course I was just joking. But yeah it sucks that we can’t see each other frequently because of the distance between our houses and work.
LIFE SUCKER #3: Low level creatures
As much as I hate to admit, the intellectual advancement of people living near the vicinity of my house can be compared to a fetus suffering from typhoid fever. Last night… Before last night I would like to say that I am ready to quit smoking. I have avoided it last week but last night I was in i-will-kill-anyone-if-i-don’t-smoke mode. Its 12 o’clock, in pasay, almost all stores are still open, in cainta however… I only found one. A cafeteria at that and they were ready to shut their doors upon me. Immediately before I become the front page in tomorrow’s paper, I bought two sticks of cig (Marlboro Red, because in suburbia, light cigarettes is a myth). I gave the lady 200 hundred pesos and even bought coke sakto to make it easier for her to compute the change ( 4 + 6 =10). Sadly, 200 pesos is ample enough to make all her mathematical cells in haywire mode. It took her 10 minutes to compute my due and another 10 to compute my change. My waste basket is ready to empty itself while she tries to come up with a combination of bills and coins that would make up my 190 change. She got the hundred then the fifty… awful… She tries to search her “arinola” for a 10 and two fives even if there’s 5 twenty pesos in it.
The only thing that’s keeping me sane is the thought that no one is bothering me whenever I got home. And I can watch whatever I want. And kick everything I see and cry all night and …. Yeah fuck it. My life sucks big time.