Pervert Heaven

Imagine yourself, your first month in your new life being torn down by the bus being jinxed by your estranged ex to stop in the middle of the express way. Things will get better you say. Things will definitely get better.

9:00 a.m. is fast approaching. You’re still in Paranaque, the haven of all late vehicles trying to catch the last second the fifteen minute grace period that all Makati offices offered. You know you are in deep shit because you can smell it right below your nose.

You decided to end your close encounter with a heart attack offered by all stupid drivers who have decided to overtake the bus you are currently boarding. You hailed a taxi and that’s where it all happens…

Taxi Driver: San tayo dadaan
Me: Kahit saan po.
Taxi Driver: Alam mo nagpatingin ako sa doctor.
Me: *I wonder if the rain is still from cloud seeding*
Taxi Driver: Kasi tumitibok ang puso ko pag nakakakita ng maganda.
Me: *Crap… definitely not cloud seeding*
Taxi Driver: Single pa ako eh.
Taxi Driver: Ayoko pang pakasal pero ngayon nakita ko na papakasalan ko, parang ayaw ko na nga siyang pababain.
Me: (Smile) * Subukan mo lang tarantado ka…*
Taxi Driver: May boyfriend ka na?
Me: Opo
Taxi Driver: Sayang
Me: Jan na lang po sa kanto.

This night as I am going home to slumber, another close encounter with these low life creatures has happened.

Driver: Wow legs
(Not mine)
Driver: Sakay na. Hindi ko binuksan headlight kasi baka masilaw ako sa legs mo.

I am now wondering the time when I could do this without going to prison:

theotherwhitmeat.jpg 

Barbecue anyone???

* I would like to thank midori for the pic *

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