Make Me Bad

I’ve been thinking a lot of things. One of which is to change the title of this blog to “Disturbing thoughts when living alone”. It makes no sense for the original title of the blog is still in there only I’ve lengthen it to justify the nature of the contents to my personal whining about the joys of living alone. I was being sarcastic.

For those of you, who are still living with their parents, kiss them for me. Kiss them and tell them you love them. You love them despite of their UNEQUAL treatment among their kids, endless blabber of things that happened ten years ago and of course the topic for all season, how you are on the road to messing/already mess up/messing up your life. For it is a great joy compare to cleaning your mess, paying up bills, cooking for yourself, and talking to yourself through your word processor.

I am the rise and fall of my salvation
There’s so much shit around me
Such a lack of compassion

I’m talking with my word processor with myself. This is justifiable for I don’t want my neighbor to call the cops or a mental institution and report a quarter aged girl talking to herself in her apartment. I barely have choices. I don’t want to disturb my friends who have their own shit to attend to. I’m tired of talking to my officemates whom I talked to 8 hours a day.I’m tired of arguing with my boyfriend that I am more important than his ps2. When we’re just friends I’m not bothered by the fact that he will choose the ps2 game over me anytime, anyday, it is a fact and should be understood by anyone without a mum. I mean he’s a guy, he’s tired and the last thing he wants to do is listen to my voice. But commitment gives you this screwed viewpoint that both parties SHOULD be available in case one of them needs the other. I should have sticked to the ps2 over me anytime idea and talk to my word processor immediately instead of trying to instill some … Fuck. Did I just have gotten jealous over the Persona 3 DVD game I gave him? Whatta pathetic person I turned out to be.

I feel the reason as it’s leaving me
No, not again
It’s quite deceiving
As I’m feeling the flesh makes me bad

Let me warn you about this shit hole I’m currently in. Although living alone is really great and fulfilling, it is one crappy idea once you’re feeling down about everything. Because no one is there to pick your mood up and instead it’s dragged down by your chores.

I thought it will be all fun and games
But instead it was the same
I want something to do …

But of course this me speaking in behalf of Jonathan Davis. Thank God for someone like you, dear Jonathan. Thank God. But yeah me tired of being emo so let me change the song.

I’m way to cool for ya boy
That’s why it’ll never work
I have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say it’s over.

Wait. THAT.IS.SO.NOT.ME… I guess at this moment of my life, I just don’t know ME anymore. I did an inventory of my clothes and discovered that my mostly black shirts has been dominated by… dun dunn dunnnnn… pink. Yes, most of my clothes are now pink. Half of them. Half. Shit. I’m turning into a chick. Yeah I want to whine because that’s what chicks do. I do want to feel like a chick every once and a while.


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