My Significant Other’s Words of Wisdom Regarding Shit

Talking about shit (or poo or crap or dump or whatever) can be really gross and might induce vomiting especially if you’re not accustom to reading conversation that concerns it. If you’re that kind, please stop reading.

Like I’ve said, it is really gross to talk with anyone. I have this mindset that if I can’t talk about shit with you, we’re not really that close. Maybe we’re just pretending to be close or chances are, I don’t really like you at all.

For me, that theory also applies to relationship. I mean, you can’t be with someone you’re too ashamed to talk about something natural yet gross right? Because if that’s the case then you can’t talk about other shameful things with him (or her) that might result to miscommunation therefore the big B (Breakup, stupid).

Fortunately, I can talk about anything with the Significant Other. We’ve been close friends for years and it quite comes naturally to us. Like weird natural because our conversations almost revolves around shameful, gross, creepy and stupid habits or things we did in our past.

Unfortunately, the boyfriend has quite a lot of things going on with him about shit like:

Phone conversation:
ME: Ling, natatae yata ako.
SO: Eh di tumae ka. Bakit ka ba nagsasabi? Eto!
ME: Sabi ko yata lang
SO: Kung tatae ka dapat tumae ka. Kailangan pa bang sabihin yun?
ME: Bakit parang me echo?
SO: Tumatae ako eh.  Bahoo!

Text Conversation:
ME: Hindi pa ako natatae. 3 days na.
SO: Normal yun. Alangan namang tae ka ng tae.
ME: Hindi dati natatae ako araw araw. Minsan nga isipin ko lang natatae na ako.
SO: Eh di isipin mo ng isipin nang matae ka. Gawa mo na lang me ng design ng website.
ME: Cge.
SO: Wag lang violet ha?
ME: Oo na.
SO: Ano naisip mo na?
ME: Ang bilis naman ang hirap kaya magisip nun.
SO: Iisipin mo lang na matatae ka, mahirap ba yun???????

During a date:

ME: Panis na yata yung buko. Parang natatae ako.
SO: Pigilin mo muna, kaya mo yan
ME: Parang hindi ko na kaya.
SO: Ganito na lang nood na lang tayo ng sine.
ME: Para hindi ko maisip na natatae ako?
SO: Hindi, para walang tao sa CR. Kasi bihira lang macr ang tao pag nasa sinehan.
ME: Adik ka ba? Nakakahiya kaya yun.
SO: Okay lang yun pipili tayo ng palabas na korny tapos gitna na. Ano? Tara lets bagets.

True enough, no one’s inside the comfort when we went in. But I didn’t took a dump. No! Really! I didn’t!


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