For the Life of Me

The five-day Lenten vacation is slowly creeping into reality. Actually, I don’t like taking long vacation such as that. For one, I don’t like beaches for I’ve swore a vampiric life 5 years ago, so I’d rather watch “Labs Kita, Okay Ka Lang?” over and over than roast myself under the sun. Besides that, resting is one thing, running out of things to do is another thing.

Planning is very critical in times like these. For without planning, I may end up bloated by emptying our refrigerator or proceed with suicide (and I’m just kidding all of you regarding this suicide, I need drama in my life). And I want none of that to happen. So without further ado here are my planned activities:

Procrastination

Procrastination is a powerful tool you need in order to destroy your career, your life and any chance you have of getting laid. I am serious (trying to perhaps) on that line, except for the last scenario which will always be ruined depending on you ability to turn yourself into stone everytime you see the opposite sex.

My dysfunctional ability to react to emergency situations nowadays has been escalated to not being able to think of cerebral ideas to defend myself in the case high intellect inquisitions. In order to prevent problems that may arise from my officemates finding out that I possess a moronic brain that can’t process additions greater than 3 digit numbers or not being able to defend a plan that I have been composing for the past two weeks, I procrastinate, hoping that something on the web might interest me that may wake my emotional and mental powerlessness.

Sadly, procrastination not only dissipated my time… I also find it hard to inject my sentences with any intelligence that it needs. Please see how this paragraph came to be. Yes… it sucks… and yes, you, too reading this entry sucks… everyone sucks.

Right now, I’m subjecting myself to focus my mind on work and avoid delaying any stuff that may cause early termination of my career and making up for the mistakes I have committed in those dark days of mental seizure. In order not to further humiliate myself with another senseless topic like how this entry turn to be. …

[Sorry I can’t think of any witty remarks to end this BS that I’ve just made]

Of Political Ads

=================================================================

Before we went on with my rantings for this day. Let me just say that I am blaming valentine’s day for making the MRT crowded, sidewalks beaming with nuisance roses/gifts and ofcourse lovers flooding malls.

I even saw my neighbor, whom I don’t know personally, making out with her boyfriend on the street on my way out….

====================================================================

I missed two days without going to the gym. No, I didn’t lose my drive to finally become thin… my hormones love valentine’s day so much, so it went valentine’s on valentine’s day. Good guess….

I am telling you this because not going to the gym simply means that I can watch television again (Prison break, commercials and current events)… which is somewhat entertaining if not shitty because my boardmates are eating chocolates while watching so I feel so…. Pathetic.

Current Events Side:

Kids are so much different these days. Imagine, they do pickets in front of the school to get their principal ousted. I don’t know if I will applaud them for their courage or kick them in the rear for having shit for a brain.

Reminds me of my own immaturity way back in high school, I planned a boycott (all of us should be absent that Friday) and got the whole class to participate. That plan… was ruined by a faggot snitch that turned us out to a faculty member. So trigonometry that day was converted into values education. Our teacher discussed the responsibility of being a student and how we can change the world without being radical.

Bioharayenjie

I am suffering from serious …. fuck… I forgot the medical term for hay allergy. This is the very reason why I always have second thoughts of going home. But home is still home… even if it gives you allergic rhinitis .. thanks google… It means a lot… Besides, I need to go home to eat home cooked meals.

Ever since I’ve been to college my weekly diet has been deduced to ramens and fast food shits. So I believe that students living in a boarding house who did not eat “LUCKY ME PANCIT CANTON” are ALIENS FROM OTHER PLANET

Aside from that there are many life changing habits that I’ve incurred from living in a house that is not your home.

1. Aside from eating ramen and being a fast food junkie… Century Tuna also became a necessity in my weekly grocery.
2. I never drink from used glass… now… I don’t fucking care if cockroaches drinks from my glass. Except rodents… I hate them… may they all go to hell.

Aphasia, Ghost Stories

 

Kagabi dapat magoot ako. Sa kadahilanang hindi ko pa rin matapos tapos ang malupit na computation ng mga sweldo ng tao. (Systems Analyst ako… syempre…) Desidido talaga ako. Tila lahat ng mga cells ng brain ko ay gumagana at parang formula ng isang super duper over to the max na bomba ang gagawin ko na dito nakasalalay ang buhay ng lahat ng tao pag hindi ko ito nagawa ngayong gabi. Isa isa nang nagpaalam ang aking mga kaopisina. Uppss. 7:30… umuwi na rin boss ko. Okay…. bumaba ako para gawin ang alam niyo nang ginagawa ko pero hindi ko dapat gawin dahil masama ito sa katawan. Pagakyat ko anak ng pating na may tulo… sarado na ang pinto ng opisina… “Manong…. Manong…. anjan pa po bag ko sa loob!!!”

Nagcr pala si manong mabuti na lang…. Balik na ako… Okay… Leave Cash Out… Hay leave cash out…. (Transalation: Mahal na niya kaya yun? Nagtetext ba sila palagi?)

Retro Pay… Hay Retro Pay (Transalation: Tama na sigurong tigilan na nga kita)

(Scenario: Habang nagtytype… biglang lumamig at parang may biglang dumaan sa unahan…..)

Pano nga ba to… alin kaya mas dapat kong unahin (Translation: Motherfucker…. kinikilabutan ako… )

Makacr na nga…. Sabay biglang labas ni manong….

Elevator Dramathon

Riding the MRT never fails to give something to laugh about. This morning…

Elevator:
Scene: We are being squished inside the elevator and the has been opening for three times because of people who still wants to get inside…

Aleng Humahabol: Kasya pa ba ako…
Manong Mainit ang Ulo: Hindi na!!!! (Taray ng lolo mo)
Aleng Humahabol: (Pumasok pa rin)
Elevator: BIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP (bumukas ulit ang pinto)
Manong Mainit ang Ulo: Ano ba puno na bakit ba bumubukas pa! (aatakihin na sa puso sa galit)
Aleng Mainit ang ulo na nasa labas ng elevator: Over Loaded na kayo kaya ayaw sumara (Bilisan niyo!!!)
Aleng Humahabol: (Lumabas)
Elevator: (Bumukas pa rin)
Manong Mainit ang Ulo: Bakit niyo ba pinipindot puno na nga!!!!

Nice… I find it funny that they choose to waste their energy shouting and frowning at each other instead of walking…retards…