ALMS! ALMS!

Some people attract gays. Some lesbo. Some girls. Some boys. I tend to attract the needy.

I don’t know if there’s a halo in my head that only seems to be visible when there are needy people around and by needy people I mean those street lurkers who asks for money by pretending to be stranded or some representative of some organization. I mean, I look like shit always, I don’t wear expensive clothes, I look like mura for gawdssakes so WHY???? WHY ME???? WHY APPROACH ME??? WHY HUMILIATE ME ON OUR FIRST “it’s unofficial-we’re-now-a-couple” DATE??? WHY??? WHY????

They are major mood killers. For one thing, they will speak to you endlessly about them being some fucking Samaritan that is made by God to help the somalian residents. For another, they’re like these “Family First” idiots who will almost point a gun at you so they can scam you. Yeah my mood was immediately fed off to alligators and all I talked about the whole night was my idea of utopia that would only exists if I burn all posers alive and stab all parlorista in the ass. Idealism is not a good topic during dates because he’ll think that your parents really have a point in believing that you are a drug addict. We should have talked about commitment. Yeah I think that is a good topic that I have failed to discuss because of that creepy asshole.

THE TRUTH

There’s so much I want to say now
But it’s too late I know
There’s no way to heal these wounds now
And my heart bleeds for you

And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me

CHORUS:
So I wanted you to know
That I finally let you go
After all I’ve held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that I know
Is I’ve finally let you go

Yesterday you were my best friend
But tomorrow took you away
There’s not much for me to say now
Just goodbye, farewell

And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me

CHORUS:
So I wanted you to know
That I finally let you go
After all I’ve held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that I know
Is I’ve finally let you go

And every time I close my eyes
My heart is bleeding deep inside
But now my eyes are open
And I’m never gonna be the one for you
The one for you

CHORUS:
So I wanted you to know
That I finally let you go
After all I’ve held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that I know
Is I’ve finally let you go

I finally let you go
Let you go
Let you go
So this is my goodbye to you

Last EMO post I swear…

Get Together Yah!

I wrote this shit while suffering from hang-over.

Part I: The Pictorial

Mara and I arranged a get together last friday. I felt sorry for her because I wasn’t able to text her that we will be indeed going out. I have no cellphone load, so really I’m sorry. Before leaving, I’ve had some pictorials:

Part II: The Dinner

After work, Cecil and I went straight to Shangri-la to meet up with her boyfriend, also my previous supervisor. We went to Crocodile Grille and ordered up. James, Onin, Wynn, Tonio, Dexter, Sheila and Ninong Rye came up later. We ate and they all blamed me for eating there and not just in NSG. Oh well we all enjoyed our meal so it doesn’t matter. Also, we played the knot the freaking cherry stalk game and only two of us made it in less than ten minutes.

Part III: The Pre Drink Off

Right after eating, we decided to go out for a drink. Then, they went straight to play counterstrike. Yes they are retards for doing that and also they made me wait for two fucking hours. I love them so I guess it’s forgivable.

Totally Random

I  am in this internet cafe.

Sometimes, it’s nice to pissed off yourself by communing with totally random people because you have been forced to reminisce some stupid moments of your life that still pokes your heart.

So, here’s the good thing about internet cafes; you get to see random things that can make you laugh.

Searching for Words

My friend, after treating her to a coffee house told me that she misses my old blog. She commented that I’ve been cursing a lot instead of relaying my amusing day-to-day stories. I’ve told her that my stories are still amusing only, I find it hard to be funny because I am always searching for words.

My parents considered me to be an autistic child when I was still young. I was never the giddy child who laughs when talked to. Usually, I stare at the person and then… yeah that’s it. It is very unusual, for all my siblings started talking before their first birthday and giggly when someone baby talks to them. I talked when I was almost two years old and had an odd behaviour.

Sad to say, I was not mentally-challenged. IT IS SAD because my parents could have settled for that idea instead of being bothered that I still possess the stare-and-dismiss-the-unknown-human-being attitude and talk scarcely as I grew up.

Fatal Attraction

Gym is a nice place to feed my lesbian tendencies. Most of the girls are HAWT, seriously. I don’t know their reason for joining since they are all fit and extremely curvaceous but hell, they were good scenery to look at, so I hope they won’t quit anytime soon. If you happen to be my friend and you’re currently raising an eyebrow right now… Sorry if I scared you with this paragraph, one can’t help but be attracted to someone who looks like Maui Taylor less the whorish quality.

Being exposed to the male species for quite a long time (most of my closest friends are male who are all presentable, some even good-looking), I tend to be mesmerized by a female presence rather than a male. I never had a male-attention-deficit syndrome. I totally abhor those girls who have them. Only because I tend to hate everything I can’t rationalize. 

Let me be the one to tell you that knowing someone deeply surely kills any romantic idea. Yes, I can tell that it’s humanely possible not to fall in love with a close friend even of the opposite sex. Except maybe for the few instances where attraction came before the friendship, surely it will destroy the later.

How things change

I’ll never get tired of eating Adobo, Pritong Tilapia, Pritong Galunggong, Garlic Flavored Nagaraya and Pancakes.

Pancakes. The last time I craved for pancakes, it was already 7pm, and I was broke. Pancake House was not an option. When I was on my way home, I saw the word “PANCAKE” on Dunkin Donut’s menu. Thinking that all pancakes are round, flat and whatever… I decided to fulfill my needs and ordered two. Here’s what I’ve got:

Crap

Okay, so I don’t know what hit me yesterday. I was so goddamn melodramatic the whole day. Listening to “I’ve been waiting for you” over and over doesn’t help me in recovering from the self inflicted pain that I’ve been experiencing.

Also, I’ve been busy doing numerous craps like updating my friendster account, writing in my blog and most of the time, pikipimping my pictures. I WAS busy last week, but since my recent status report exceeded the threshold for maximum positive effort variance for the week, I need to pretend to review the works that I’ve reviewed for the past week for the effort to finally caught up with the specified limits. You don’t get it? Well me too. I’m just following rules. Doing retarded things during office hours will give you an ample amount of time to go emotional and all that shit. I decided to be really busy this day. But it’s nice to start it off by blogging.

Actually, my morning break is coming up. Time for my cigarette break. I’m thinking about quiting, but I’m worried that nicotine deprivation will only contribute even more depression.

This is how a blog entry should be. With nothing but crap.

Undergoing Rehabilitation

My vacation is the same old shit you’ll expect from a reclusion-addicted person, thank you very much. The meaningful activities I have planned before the holiday stayed on my violet notebook and were never put into action. For those who have texted me, mycellphone resides inside my cabinet and on silent mode. I really hate it when someone sends me text messages asking for some useless info with matching “Reply ASAP” at the end. I am terribly sorry. I’m fine though!

Nonetheless, there were things that are worth noting:

I never thought that my drawing capabilities have improved after I’ve forgot the fact that I can draw. Do I make sense?

I finally decided to rehabilitate my teeth. It’s been a long time since I have punished them for not being able to clean themselves. If I had the choice I would’ve shouted “BITCH!” during the entire session but instead I just listened to the dentist’s blabbing and think if she expects me to communicate with her while she’s working on my tooth decays.

Given the fact that the next long vacation is nowhere in sight, I should have spent my five days wisely. Reminiscing and doing the things you’ll only do if you were to die in a month because of a terminal disease. Things like visiting your old school, reading your old notebooks, thinking about your high school crushes, getting re-acquainted with your old friends, asking forgiveness from the guy you stabbed with a sharpened pencil when you’re in grade three and doing your old hobbies.

It’s nice to remember those days when your problems constitutes only of love, exams and fucked up professors. I’d rather throw my thoughts of financial problems, deadlines, office intrigues and work-related thoughts that I surely won’t laugh about when I grow old. Next time, I’ll focus my activities on the person that matters most in my life, myself.

Life’s Traffic

I was about to ride the MRT to get home this afternoon, when I remembered that it’s the last working day of the week and my dreaded long weekend is up ahead. It will be a battle between my already weak body and the two trillion people ready to squeeze themselves in a train that already contains plenty of sweaty people. I’ve had enough stressful activities for the week, so extending my travel time comfortably will not be an issue. I immediately went for the bus.

It was weird though, there were minimal vehicles travelling and only few of them are buses bound for the province. The ever predictable Philippine heavy traffic was somewhat out of sight. I was dismayed.

I’ve developed a fascination for traffic stops when I started working. The stationary bus offered me a place for reflection, actually, most of my insanely artistic ideas are often born while waiting for the traffic flow. It was a form of procrastination but for me it dissolves the predictability I’ve always felt when riding the train. And besides, there’s no television inside the MRT that showcases rated r videos when you’re travelling late.